Celebrating the beauty of size with Parties for Big Girls and the men who adore them

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About Us

Big Girls Paradise was established in London in 1995 by Linda Koch. Now, 16 years later, we are the leading BBW nightclub/organisation in the United Kingdom.

Confidence in your body whatever your size

Are you unhappy with the way you look? Do you think people judge you because you are over-weight? Is your weight making you conscious and preventing you from achieving your full potential? If yes, then you are not alone. Most of us are too conscious about the way we look. So much so that it hampers with our inner well-being, personal and professional lives.

Much of it has to do with our cultural influences. Society, unfortunately, has always laid too much emphasis on outer appearances. While the criteria and trends change, their effect on the mind doesn’t. Anyone who fails to measure up feels inadequate. You have to realize that this is a sheer waste of your time, and in many ways disrespect for life. We can’t help the way we look; we shouldn’t let that affect our mind.

It’s not always weight that is an issue. Some of us are built differently as well, big bones and a heavier set often make us look bigger or fatter than the petite figures around us. Does that mean we should be feeling inadequate, unattractive or have negative emotions about our body? Of course not.

Easier said than done of course. Once again we have society’s perception of what is beautiful affect our mental health and happiness. Much of it has to do with the female body that we see in magazines, or on screen. Svelte, petite, beautiful and mostly skinny. There is at least a 30 to 50-pound difference between the average woman and the fashion models we see on most magazine covers. They stare at us from the newsstands as we walk by and slowly chip into our self-confidence.

There was a time when being curvy was the in-thing. Trends change over time, as they should, and today the skinny figure rules. But this particular has been damaging for both our mental and physical state. Crash diets have become a fad. Depression about weight is common. But all is not lost. In such a scenario, we now have dedicated stores and sections within departmental stores, for plus-size models. What’s motivating is to see confident plus-size models sporting these clothes.

What makes them stand out? Here are some life lessons they teach us.

• Love yourself without thinking about the world first. Cultivating a positive body image is the foundation for confidence. How you see yourself, carry and portray yourself is how the world will view you. Love to learn your body and the world will too, just like Amy Schumer.

• Cultivate your mind first. It is your character – your depth and confidence that will attract people to you. When you exude this confidence, how you look will be secondary. We all deserve recognition, love, respect and praise despite body size and looks. We should celebrate our differences instead of using them for petty thoughts and opinions.

• There is a lot of myth associated with weight. A key one is that skinny is healthy. Well, emaciated and anorexic can be skinny too, and these are definitely not signs of a healthy body. Don’t give in to these myths or in to disordered eating habits just because you want to lose weight. Do it in a proper manner.

• Don’t give in to trends blindly. What is right for others may not be right for you. Once you conform to these trends blindly, you give away your power and plunge into diffidence. Change is good and changing for the better means doing what is best for you, not what others think of you or want you to do.

• Don’t let the haters get to you. They bring in negative energy into your space and can seriously undermine your health and happiness. Don’t let that happen. Don’t allow any kind of negative thought influence your character and confidence. Even if the skinny models look like a norm, know this – there are more women like you out there in the world than otherwise.

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